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the beauty in the universe

Marie Winger-Meyer 1/7/2007 10:20 am


I never felt special -- instead I felt -- different. Like I was right in some way I should be - and everyone else just didn't get it. And since no one else was 'open' there - I tried my hardest to shut it down. That is -- until I went to the college and discovered the drawings.

There were always littler ways it 'got out/made itself clear' to me before - I couldn't change what I was - just what I did with "what was me." But the drawings made themselves LOUD AND CLEAR - no denying it - no 'voices' or 'visions' - just a sincere sense of ("what you are doing right here - it is the beautiful thing - do it until you finish -- when it is done - it will be apparent when it is finished - and it should be finished and finished to its true completion.")

and so the art became both the medium and the messages and the teacher of many things -- by suggestion, not by force. [I still love that feeling |[-|x-F-© makes me feel it)

And over time the messages have changed much - I would expect no less from it - it tells me more about truth, beauty and being than anything else -- and then tells in its way [[when and sometimes how, or no direction at all -- that wisdom of this message so beautiful in itself]] to go out into the world and seek and practice -- for I am not only the container - but also the medium - and the motivator. If in it I did not feel motivation to comply - I wouldn't. It is by this simple revelation and truth that I comply at all - and when the ties/(threads?) of the world fight or (comply as well)agree -- then -- beauty is in the fight or the singing -- the synchronicity and the harmony - which is the closest thing I can identify - physically - with here in this [container - body - medium] -- all the rest of life is the threads that others weave - and often they are in discord [[not to say mine at times aren't for I am not an expert at following (the) beauty -- only a continuous learner -- there is too much to learn for any one soul - it is expressed by all -- at once -- in different ways - and also, *sadly* is the "opposite of the beauty" *sadly* which by its nature - seeks to balance?) and thus I must always twist my [strings - my weaving - my life - my song] around/about what is already constructed.

this is being - this is existing - to be within the song and the singing at once - and the turning - and the flowing of the time in the universe. It is to make the time beautiful in its own unfolding from the point where it passes over and within you.. over and over, listening and internally 'singing' the song of the Universe, as best to your knowledge, ability and motivation.

very hard to describe, but this is my best.

This passage floored me today...

Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil.

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Indeed, to understand how the abstrusest metaphysical assertions of a philosopher have been arrived at, it is always well (and wise) to first ask onselef: "What morality to they (or he) aim at?" Accordingly, I do not believe that an "impulse to knowledge: is the father of philosophy; but that another impulse, here as elsewhere, has only made use of knowledge (and mistaken knowledge) as an instrument. But whatever considers the fundamental impulses of man with a view to determining how far they may have here acted as inspiring genii (or as demons and cobolds), will find that they have all practised philosophy at one time or another, and that each one of them would have been only too glad to look upon itself as the ultimate end of existence and the legitimate lord over all the other impulses.

For every impulse is imperious, and as such, attempts to philosophize. To be sure, in the case of scholars, in the case of really scientific men, it may be otherwise -- "better," if you will; there may really be such a thing as an "impulse to knowledge," some kind of small, independent clock-work, which when well sound up, works away industriously to that end, without the rest of the scholarly impulses taking any material part wherein. The actual "interests" of the scholar, therefore, are generally in quite another direction -- in teh family, perhaps, or in money-making, or in politics; it is, in fact, almost indifferent at what point of research his little machine is placed, and whether the hopeful young worker becomes a good philologist, a mushroom specialist, or a chemist; her is not characterized by becoming this or that. In the philosopher, on the contrary, there is absolutely nothing impersonal; and above all, his morality furnishes a decided and decisive testimony as to WHO HE IS, -- that is to say, in what order the deepest impulses of his nature stand to each other.

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floored me:

1. Impulses acting as genii and demons.
2. The clockwork of the impulse to knowledge, set in motion - by what? Not specific - but the result is still a search for knowledge.
3. In What ORDER the deepest impulses of his nature stand to each other. Such that his morality defines who he is by the order of the deepest impulses (deciding which are acceptable and which are to what ends.)